I'll do it tomorrow

It's the most wonderful time of the year. I'm not talking about that. No, I'm talking about report card writing time. Why is it so great, you ask? Simple. This is the time of the year when my house gets really, really clean. What's the connection? If you have to ask, you're not a teacher, or you don't live with one.

It's all about the art of procrastination.

You see, report card writing sits at the summit of the Teacher's Pyramid of Disdain. Most of us would rather deal with a troublesome parent (troublesome kids are easy), or even prepare for an evaluation than write report cards. Which is where procrastination finds a solemn place on the teacher's mantle, and where cleaning suddenly becomes an activity of paramount, holy and dire importance.

The husband of a colleague of mine told me that he always knows when it's report card writing time, because that's when he finds his wife on her hands and knees in the living room, scrubbing the baseboards. The other day, another colleague of mine was bemoaning the fact that she hadn't finished her reports. She was mentally preparing a list of what she needed to do that evening and decided the order would be (a) wash the kitchen floor, (b) make dinner, and finally (c) if she felt satisfied that she had cleaned enough, write her reports.

Trying to wrap my head around why so many of us choose to clean as a method of procrastination, I turned to Google for help. I was led to a number of dissertations that prompted me to procrastinate finishing this posting, but otherwise left me dissatisfied. People talked about choosing a boring activity to put off something more boring. Others talked about cleaning as something which spawns creativity. I'm not convinced.

I don't know why anyone else goes through this ritual. For me, knowing that my chores are out of the way relaxes me. If my house is in order, then my thoughts will be too, which enables me to do the king of chores, report writing. Interestingly enough, I only get this way around report card time. Any other time of the year, cleaning plunges down the pyramid to the level of any other household, okay-I-guess-I-better-do-it.

So, here I am, admiring my clean place. Report cards are finished. All is right with the world. In the end, procrastination paid off. Now I'll look forward to the next set of reports, because I just remembered that I have some closets that need straightening.....