It was the end of an ordinary kindergarten day. The children were in line, waiting for the bell to ring. There was the usual chattering going on about playdates and such, nothing out of the ordinary. All of a sudden, from nowhere, little dark, curly haired girl opened up her mouth. I have no idea what compelled her to declare at the top of her lungs, "When MMMy mommy and MMMy daddy are in the shower together...". It was like watching a pile of dishes toppling off a counter, I couldn't stop the flow of her words. "....MMMy daddy tickles MMMy mommy....and she laughs and laughs!"
One of the reasons I loved teaching kindergarten was because this is the age before children gain a social mask. They would say whatever they wanted. They liked my haircut, they hated my shoes. They had a good weekend, they had a bad weekend. Daddy tickles mommy, she laughs. Nothing was taboo. The list went on and on, year in and year out. Hapy stories, sad stories. Children voiced their opinions on everything.
Well, as we know, children grow up. As they progress in school, stories are translated into something called Journals. My Summer Vacation. My Winter Vacation. Our Class Trip to Where Ever. My Weekend. All of these are called Journal prompts. I'm sure you remember writing these responses when you were in school. I sure do. They are classics, tried and true vehicles for writing. After all, who doesn't like writing about themselves! And for children who have difficulty writing about the State of the Union or who for some reason cannot regularly come up with prose that can be considered Nobel Prize worthy, 'What I did on my weekend' simply works.
Or does it? What if a child didn't go to overnight camp in the summer? Would he feel that he didn't measure up to his classmates? What if the closest a child got to Disney World one winter was to watch the Disney Christmas Day parade on TV? Would he be shunned forever by his classmates? What if, on the way to a class trip, a child threw up and he wrote that in the story that goes up on the bulletin board? And what if all a child remembers about a weekend is the fight that mommy and daddy had. The question being asked is whether it is fair to 'force' a child to recount these events via a journal entry. To take this one step further, could asking a child to relate difficult or emotional experiences be in fact detrimental, or even harmful?
A reader approached me with this issue, telling me that she had been to a lecture at her teacher's college, where this topic had been addressed. The entire student body was advised that asking children to recount their weekend or vacation could potentially be unhealthy for the child, and they should therefore make it a practice to never assign any of the above as Journal topics.
Are you shocked? I certainly stopped dead in my tracks, although I can somehow understand the logic, as twisted as I believe it is.
Let's be honest; there is a lot of bad stuff going on in the world. Too many children live in circumstances that many of us would not be able to comprehend. I respect the thought that reliving a bad weekend can possibly be painful for a child. But what if writing is a child's sanctuary, a window to safety?
Over the years, I have been able to have many one-on-one discussions with children about many difficult topics as a result of their Journal entries. Many times, children would relate stories about loved ones who had passed away. Their messages were hints to me that they wanted to talk further about what they had written, and I would give them the opportunity. Children know that what they say in their Journals is a safe way to express themselves. By writing their thoughts regularly, children learn that it's important to express themselves, that all feelings are valid and that by sharing, a teacher can help or find the appropriate help if need be.
I believe that asking a teacher to purposely not assign something for fear that a child might think of something sad or difficult is a form of censorship, and a dangerous one at that. Maybe what a child needs is to not suppress or ignore emotions, but to express them in a healthy way, so that he can learn to understand them and himself better.
You and I know that the moment we share an unpleasant or even an embarrassing experience with someone, we immediately (a) feel better and (b) realize that we're not alone. Schadenfreude aside, it's reassuring to find out how many people share the same or similar experiences that we do. Shouldn't children be able to learn that they're not alone?
As teachers and parents, we try to protect our children. We try to shield them from harm. We make an effort to have the ills of the world stay as far away from them as we possibly can. Protecting children is paramount, but isn't giving them the tools they need to survive a method of protection?
School is a safehaven for children, and their journal is a catch basin for their innermost thoughts. 'What I did on my weekend' might not be the most original of Journal topics, but the thought that the abolishment of topics where negative experiences might possibly be divulged concerns me.
Children impress me with their frank and honest storytelling. No matter what happens on a weekend, children, just as we adults do, have the option of keeping stories to themselves or relating them to others. They are not being told which stories to write. It is their choice to share what they want. Let's teach our children that school is a safe place, that their teacher is there to advocate for them, and that their journal is a vehicle to make it all possible.
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